the reanimator's soul · Writing

The Reanimator’s Soul Audiobook is Available Now!

the audiobook cover for The Reanimator's Soul written by Kara Jorgensen, read by Jack R. R. Evans

I am so excited to announce that The Reanimator’s Soul is now out in audiobook! It’s still trickling out to a few other retailers, but it’s now out at most major retailers and library systems.

Jack R. R. Evans, who narrated The Reanimator’s Heart and Kinship and Kindness, has returned to narrate The Reanimator’s Soul, and they have done an amazing job. I always rave about Jack’s work, but the way they did Ansley and Joe had me grinning from ear to ear.

You can grab the audiobook of The Reanimator’s Soul at

Amazon

Audible

Barnes & Noble/Nook

Kobo (on Kobo Plus as well)

Apple

Chirp

Spotify

Google Play

And many more including Libby, which many libraries in the US use. It will also be available in other library systems and Libro.fm, but it takes a few weeks to appear.

Monthly Review

April 2024 Wrap-Up Post

This month has been wild. I knew I would be busy grading a bunch of papers since April is the busiest month of the spring semester, but this month threw me some curve balls I wasn’t expecting. Let’s look back at what I had intended to get done before we get into it.

  • Write 20k words of The Reanimator’s Remains (TRM #3)
  • Proof audiobook chapters of The Reanimator’s Soul (TRM #2)
  • Keep up with the Fungi and Frogs stitch-a-long I’ve joined
  • Maintain my mental health better (aka refill the well and use your elliptical)
  • Send out monthly newsletter
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly

Books

  1. Wake Me Most Wickedly (#2) by Felicia Grossman- 4 stars, a Snow White retelling set in 1800s British-Jewish society featuring a disgraced pawnshop owner and a young man trying desperately to make his brother proud. I loved the gender swap in this story as well as how the villain was represented.
  2. Sunflowers by Keezy Young- 4 stars, a short autobiographical comic about bipolar I disorder. Beautiful art and an interesting look into a stigmatized mental illness.
  3. Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown- 5 stars, an absolutely fantastic nonfiction work on how asexuality is tied up into white supremacy, the patriarchy, anti-Blackness, and more.
  4. Bells are Ringing (#1.5) by Cat Sebastian- 5 stars, an epilogue that follows Nick and Andy several months after the events of We Could Be So Good. I absolutely loved seeing them grow as a couple.
  5. The Vermilion Emporium by Jamie Pacton- 4 stars, a magical girl and a boy who hears starlight are brought together by a magical store and find they are far more special than they ever thought.
  6. Threads of Life by Clare Hunter- 4 stars, a nonfiction book about the social, historical, political, and cultural significance of embroidery and sewing. This book was fascinating and gave me plot bunnies galore.
  7. The Shabti by Megaera C. Lorenz- 5 stars, a reformed fake medium and an awkward academic/Egyptologist team up to solve the very real haunting of the university’s Egyptology exhibit/artifacts. I loved these two together as well as all the side characters.
  8. The Potion Gardener (#8) by Arden Powell- 4 stars, a potion maker wakes up to find a young person sleeping off a rough party in their shed only to find that they are more than they appear. This story has transitioning magic, which I thought was really awesome and not often seen in historical-fantasy.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Proofed all the files for the audiobook of The Reanimator’s Soul (TRM #2)
  • Paid for and approved the files for the audiobook on ACX (coming to Audible and Amazon soon)
  • Uploaded them to Findaway Voices and kicked them through for distribution
  • Ran a sale on The Reanimator’s Heart
  • Paid Q1 2024 taxes
  • Picked up the literary magazine copies for my class (they came out great!)
  • Kept up with the Femurs and Fungi Stitch-a-long thus far (pics are on IG if you’re interested)
  • Sent a bajillion emails to my students, random admins/faculty members
  • Finished the majority of my grading
  • Finally was able to speak out about being harassed online for the past however many months (see Freydis blog post and that assorted chaos), so I have processed/dealt with more emotions than I would care to admit since April 20th. It sort of sucked the life out of me, but I’ll talk about that more in the writing section.

Blogs


Writing

Looking back, when I made the word count for April, I was being unrealistic. I somehow forgot that April is the busiest month in the spring semester when it comes to grading. I did not come close to meeting that goal. This was initially due to grading and being a bit fried, but ultimately, what did me in was everything about Freydis Moon/Taylor Barton coming to light. You can read more in my blog post about my experience being harassed by Freydis/Taylor, and if you want more on how this came to light, just google Freydis Moon drama as there are plenty of videos that sum it up. Being able to finally tell people what was going on and being believed was an immense relief, but it was also a punch to the psyche and body. I ended up having a post-strong-emotions autoimmune flare a week after, and that made doing anything difficult. I greatly appreciate Em/Elle Porter bringing everything to light and for my friends/readers who have been very supportive.

On a brighter note, I was stuck on The Reanimator’s Remains, but I finally figured out what needs to be changed to make everything fall into place. I also got a rather unhinged idea for something toward the end. I’m not 100% sure I’ll use it, but it has inspired me. As the semester wraps up, I feel my creativity returning finally. May will be for fanning the flames of that creativity back to a roar.


Hopes for May

  • Writing goals are as follows:
    • minimum 15k words
    • standard 20k words
    • stretch 25k words
  • Finish outlining the next chunk
  • Finish grading finals
  • Do more creative stuff to avoid burnout
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out my May newsletter
  • Keep up with my stitch-a-long
Personal Life

On Gender

The other day I was listening to the audiobook of Threads of Life by Clare Hunter, and there were several instances in her book where she discusses the synergy of cis women working together and relating to each other in a space all their own. Listening to it, I was puzzled that people experience that kind of synergy or easy relation. I often chocked up my discomfort to being autistic. By nature, I’m not particularly good at “blending” with neurotypical people. As Hannah Gadsby talks about in their comedy shows, being autistic is like being the one sober person in a room of drunks; you constantly feel like you stick out.

But it runs deeper than the autism. I’ve never felt like a woman. People would talk about womanhood or what women want or feel, and I would feel my eyes glaze over. Cannot relate. At an abstract level, I get it. I can see and understand what other people in the same way I can say people can be the same gender and be very different people. The problem is woman has always fit like an outfit two sizes two big. It just sort of hung around me with no shape, and the shape people tried to give it didn’t make me feel good about myself or make sense in terms of how I see myself.

That has always been the bigger issue for me: how people perceive me. The lack of control over other people’s assumptions is a burden I constantly struggle to deal with. Any time I get hit with “ma’am” or “miss,” I can feel my soul curl like a shrimp. I’m lucky in that I’m an adjunct college professor, so most of the time, I get called “professor,” which is blessedly neutral. There are assumptions that come with being a woman or man, none of which I want or live up to. If I tried to ascribe to either, I would always be failing, falling short of someone’s idea of what I should be.

The best way I can describe my gender is neither or none or femininely masculine. One of the reasons I gravitated toward Stede Bonnet in Our Flag Means Death is because he hits the right gender buttons for me. He is a queer, autistic man, but he’s quite feminine and fussy compared to the other male characters. He wears bright colors, loves a luxury fabric, and isn’t clinging to traditional masculinity. I look at him and see gender inspiration. Same with Lestat de Lioncourt in Interview with the Vampire, though I’m far too silly to embody that fully.

I joke with my partner that “weird little guy” is my gender. Can a gender be queer? Not genderqueer, per se, but slightly masculine in a queer way, not a cis het guy way. Mostly, I use agender or nonbinary as the closest labels I can get. I add lightly masc because if I wear anything too feminine, I get dysphoric. Truthfully, I’d rather toss gender out the window as an unnecessary nuisance. The people I tend to vibe with most tend to be neurodivergent nonbinary people because I think we look at gender differently than neurotypicals. Autistic people are more likely than the general population to be trans or nonbinary, and that’s probably because gender is made up. We hate when people make arbitrary rules or try to create hierarchy, so why would we let made up gender rules get in the way of living our best lives?

While in the past it may have bothered me that I didn’t vibe fully with cis men or cis women, I’m more than happy to vibe in the agender autistic/ADHD club with the rest of my friends. I may never feel the synergy people talk about, but I feel at peace and at home where I can talk about my special interests, not be chastised for a verbal fumble, and not be judged for the parts I came with. For those people, I am eternally grateful.

Personal Life · Uncategorized

A Vent: the Freydis Fiasco

**What is written below is my experience with Freydis Moon and what has gone down since last February. Obviously, all of this is from my perspective, and I have not used other people’s names for privacy reasons. I want to use this post to vent everything that has happened this past year**

If you follow me on social media, over the past year or so, you may have seen me posting about how I was getting weird messages/replies on Twitter along with ghost quote rts (where someone who has seemingly privated or blocked you shares you work) on posts that wouldn’t normally get quoted/shared. This freaked me out so badly that my hair fell out over the summer/early fall of 2023 due to the stress of what was going on and the fact that I couldn’t say anything because the person who was behind it was another author within my orbit: Freydis Moon.

Freydis Moon has been unmasked Scooby Doo style as another terrible author named Taylor Barton or Brooklyn Ray. You can take a look at the evidence here if you want more background. The main m.o. with this person was that they would bully people, and when they would say something or try to, Freydis would rile up their readers/followers/friends to take them down. This was often done publicly, but it was often done on Discords and back channels only.

My issues with Freydis go back to February of 2023. I made a post on Twitter complaining about trope marketing since I don’t write or read fanfic, basically riffing off what a friend said. Freydis came into both of our posts and stirred up shit. I got off lighter with insinuations that I was being classist for saying if you have a BA in English, you look at book structure/writing differently (not better, differently). But they went after my friend, even though they backed down and unnecessarily apologized for their marketing opinion. Freydis and another queer author made a whole thread making fun of them and then seemingly booted my friend off a queer author Discord we were part of with the words “bad vibes be gone.” I was pissed. I left the Discord nearly immediately and muted Freydis everywhere. Part of me hoped they might apologize, but that never came.

After that happened, I started comparing notes with another neurodivergent author who had also had run-ins with Freydis and realized there were more and more of us who had this experience of “misunderstandings” that felt ableist. What I mean by that is tone policing, reading into things that aren’t there and then attacking you for it, and ganging up on them with another author/supporter among other things. Between February and summer, I watched another neurodivergent author get into a spat with them after calling them out for bullying. It’s also key to note here that Freydis also masqueraded as another author, Saint Harlow, who often acted as their attack dog. Saint Harlow went after this author, then Freydis got them into emails/DMs and then twisted around what they said. Once again, shitty behavior, but when you throw in that this author was autistic, it takes on a far more obvious ableist edge in that we are often not as socially adept and it’s far easier to trip us up, especially since clarifying leads to over-explaining, which gives the bully more to work with.

By this point, the pattern of ableist behavior was solidifying, especially after going through older spats between them and traditionally published authors, several of whom were known to be neurodivergent. Another autistic author became more vocal about Freydis’s behavior toward autistic and neurodivergent author, and so did I. Neither of us ever named names, and I don’t think I even mentioned that I was talking about a specific person when I talked about ableism being a pattern of behavior rather than a discreet action. That was seemingly enough. When a friend was called out by them, I told them to ignore Freydis (basically doing the opposite of what happened with the other author and because grey rocking is a common tactic against abusive behavior). Someone leaked those chats to Freydis, who then leaked them to their friends. I lost like 10-15 mutuals in like two days and couldn’t figure out why. I later found out it was because they told people I had been “racially harassing” them despite the fact that I hadn’t spoken to/about them in months and never had been racist toward/about them.

By that point, I had had them blocked everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, Tiktok, in my email, even Etsy. Their presence was triggering to me by that point. I went out of my way to avoid them, so there was no way in hell I was going to harass them. On top of that, I hadn’t said anything about any of this on any of my public social media accounts, only within close friend groups. Around this time in the summer is when what I can only describe as cyberstalking started. I would post something and a friend who come tell me Freydis is subtweeting me, even though I had them and their other alias’s account (whom I thought was a separate person) both blocked. I started getting ghost quote retweets on posts about my health or neurodivergence, which was strange since those aren’t topics people would comment on. I would have replies/qrts pop up, then disappear, and I started to think I was losing my mind. More people I thought were my friends unfollowed me, and I stayed silent publicly. I didn’t know how to possibly prove something I hadn’t done, but what saddened me most was that people who I thought knew me, knew my character and behavior over the months/years we had been acquaintances believed I was harassing someone and being racist. I’m not perfect, but I do my best to be anti-racist and continue to unlearn damaging behaviors and thought patterns. If I had done something, I would have apologized and taken responsibility for my behavior, but I hadn’t, especially since I hadn’t spoken to/about them since February.

When Bluesky appeared, I was relieved as they hadn’t arrived and the weird ghosts posts stopped for a time. The moment Freydis got an account there, I blocked them. I literally searched their name every day just to block them. Then, one day I made a post that was meant to be a joke about asexuality and spice (I’m asexual). Suddenly, my post was circulating among Freydis’s people, despite having most of them blocked, and I only knew because a friend came to tell me people were upset with me. I realized they were creeping on my posts again and cyberstalking me with a sock puppet/alt account or by using a friend to evade the block.

During the Trans Rights Readathon this year, I was tagged in a trans author list and one of their followers popped on to call me a serial harasser. Their “evidence” was me complaining about Frey’s clique to the friend from February and the ace-spice joke post (that I later deleted and apologized for). Luckily, the person who saw it didn’t believe the “evidence,” but this confirmed to me that they were doing this somewhere privately and that I wasn’t wrong in believing that they were sowing discord on Discord. During the Trans Rights Readathon, this happened more than once, and someone left a one star review on one of my books calling me a racist harasser, which my friends reported and got taken down. Once again, I still hadn’t said a peep about them.

Two weeks or so before today, I cracked and made a thread on Bluesky about being cyberstalking and how if someone asks you to keep tabs on someone who blocked them, you are contributing to stalking and harassment. I was tired and overwrought emotionally by what was going on but still didn’t name names or use specifics. My friends were being supportive and agreeing when a sock puppet account came out of the woodwork to call me racist [again]. They told a person who was supporting me that doing so was not a “good look” for them. Fortunately, that person saw through the manipulation and told them off. The sock puppet deleted their account and disappeared.

That episode rattled me because of how overt it was. I spent the rest of the week freaked out, and as recently as Friday, I had been pouring out my feelings to my partner about how this bullying felt like it was never ending to the point that I had gone back through interactions to make sure I hadn’t actually done something. It made me question my sanity and memory. I struggle with OCD and have chronic inflammatory problems, and the prolonged nature of Freydis’s bullying took its toll on me. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, my hair fell out from stress.

When the news came out that there was hard evidence that Freydis Moon was Taylor Barton/Brooklyn Ray, I was relieved. Several friends who knew about the situation reached out to me, and I decided to finally post about what went on. Everyone who has interacted with my posts has been very supportive, which I greatly appreciate. At the same time, I have mixed feelings about everything. The non-anonymous whistleblower was part of the crowd that spread/believed lies about me and shut me and several others out of parts of the queer indie romance community. People who I saw joining in on Freydis’s bad behavior are claiming they had no idea, and suddenly, people who have had me blocked for months on Freydis’s orders or word are now unblocking and re-friending me.

While I’m relieved this person’s behavior and real identity have come to light, I have been embittered by what has happened. My character and conduct meant nothing in the face of Freydis’s word because if they said it with enough authority, it had to be true even if there was no evidence. Freydis also weaseled their way into authority positions on projects that centered autism after being ableist and awful to autistic authors. They were actively ableist on their Discords and even made fun of me specifically for being autistic, yet no one pushed back. I’m not ready to forgive anyone who moved in that circle because I think if a new leader for the cult of personality stepped up, they would follow them. I hope they examine their actions and strive to do better in the future.

My sympathy goes out to all the readers who saw themselves in Freydis’s work and the queer, Latinx indie authors who may be harmed in the future due to their careless actions. They all deserved better.

The Reanimator's Heart · Writing

The Narratess Indie Sale!

a grid of book covers. in the center is a dragon and a planet, and around them it says, Indie Sale fantasy, scifi, and horror. April 13-15th

We will be back to our regularly scheduled blogging next week, but I wanted to let you all know that there is one day left in the Narratess Indie Sale, so if you are looking to beef up your to-be-read pile for Indie April, swing over to the Narratess Sale to check out over 200 indie books that are free to $1.99.

The Reanimator's Heart by Kara Jorgensen is on sale for $0.99 for a limited time at all major retailers. mm romance, food tour of 1890s NYC, unbury your gays, forced proximity, a lavender marriage, an autistic necromancer, everybody's queer, murder, magic and mysteries

The Reanimator’s Heart is also part of the sale and is $0.99 at all major retailers and in most regions, so if you’ve been looking to get your hands on it, now is the perfect time to start the series, especially ahead of book 3‘s release in October.

Writing

The New Book Blues

I have a confession: I hate starting a new book.

This probably sounds weird from someone who loves writing, their characters, stories, etc., but the actual starting part is the absolute worst for me. I’m not one of those writers who gets an idea and immediately dives headfirst to bang out 10,000 words in a few days before hitting the wall when they get to the middle. No matter how hard the spirit of inspiration strikes, I never get that sort of burst at the beginning of a story. The beginning is always the slowest part of the writing process for me. I’m constantly having false starts, stalling, reworking or clarifying things. The beginning of a book is about feeling things out and trying to get the shape of it in my mind before I get too far. My process is probably closest to a sculptor using a piece of a marble. They have to inspect the veins and natural curves and weaknesses of the rock before they get too far, lest they ruin it.

I’ve said it previously in other posts about my writing process, but I hate mess. I’m not the kind of person who can speed-run through a draft and deal with the problems later. If I have a super messy draft, there’s a 90% chance I will just chuck it in the bin and move on instead of dealing with it. Because I am mess averse, I tend to be a slower writer but a quick editor. My writing has been gone over so many times by the time I reach the editing stage that the draft is fairly clean. At the same time, I don’t have hyper-productive days with astronomical word counts because that would mean cleaning up a lot of mess later. Occasionally, I do have these days, but they’re often toward the very end of the story when I know exactly where I’m going and what needs to happen.

The beginning of a book is like standing at an eight-way intersection. I have too many choices and I haven’t puzzled out where they all lead yet, so I get decision paralysis. Some people will say just pick something and deal with the consequences. Yeah, no, I’d rather take a few hours or days to figure out what won’t work before charging down a certain path and making a mess for myself. I’m a careful writer, and the fact that the slow start is part of my process is something I need to remind myself each time I start a new project.

I often scare myself when I start a project because I am so slow at first. There’s a little, panicked voice inside of me that’s like, “At the rate you’re going, it’ll take two years to finish this book!” and then, I freak out more and freeze up. This time, I’m trying to remind myself that the speed at which I write exponentially goes up the further along I am in the book. The first five to ten thousand words are the slowest because my brain is still grappling with all the setup and moving pieces that need to be nailed down early on. This is part of the process, even if I don’t like how it feels, and at some point, I need to make peace with that.

The beginning of a book is like a road with nearly limitless paths, and the further I get into that draft, the more side streets are closed to me. The path becomes clearer, and the chance of getting lose diminishes. For now, I will keep going, albeit slowly, and try not to get lost.

Monthly Review

March 2024 Wrap-Up Post

Despite battling tree pollen, I have made it through March! The weather is warming up, the flowers are blooming, and a new writing project is underway. Let’s take a look at what I’ve been up to this month and the goals I set out last month.

  • Writing at least 20k words of book 3
  • Proof any audiobook chapters that come in
  • Grade papers but enjoy spring break
  • Set up the preorder for book 3
  • Do a title reveal for book 3
  • Do taxes ;–;
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send monthly newsletter

Books

My goal was to read 8 books, and I read 9 books in March.

  1. The Reluctant Heartthrob (#2) by Jackie Lau- 5 stars, an actor and an autistic programmer get involved, but she doesn’t realize he’s an actor and panics. Super cute, great rep.
  2. Meet Me in Millfield (#1.5) by Jackie Lau- 4 stars, a side story featuring two fans of a TV show who meet online. A sweet, You’ve Got Mail style story with an older female love interest.
  3. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen- 4 stars, a nonfiction book about asexuality that I would highly recommend to aces and allosexual people alike.
  4. The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi, 4 stars, for fans of Piranesi. This story is one of those where the further you go, the more you realize the cleverness of it.
  5. Love, Lies, and Cherry Pie by Jackie Lau- 4 stars, fake dating to appease their parents turns into actual romance between a starchy man who is more than meets the eye and a writer who fears she’s disappointing her family. Bonus points for realistic writer rep.
  6. We Could Be So Good (#1) by Cat Sebastian- 5 stars, set in the late 1950s, a reporter falls in love with his best friend who happens to be the bosses son. It’s a story about belatedly realizing you’re queer, love, wanting/having more than you expected, and it is just so friggin cozy and lovely.
  7. Therapy Game Restart (#2) by Meguru Hinohara- 4 stars, I love seeing these two characters get closer and navigate the real world issues that come with being in a long-term queer relationship.
  8. Therapy Game Restart (#3) by Meguru Hinohara- 4 stars, see above.
  9. Ennead (#2) by Mojito- 3 stars, I’m going to keep reading the series for now, but I sometimes feel like I’m missing context while reading these books. I wish there was more dot-connecting or a character chart of gods/characters at the beginning.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Wrote the blurb for The Reanimator’s Remains
  • Did the blurb/title reveal for The Reanimator’s Remains
  • Set up the preorder for The Reanimator’s Remains
  • Did my taxes (woo)
  • Applied for a creative writing grant
  • Signed up for a book promo/sale next month
  • Finished the formatting and such for the uni literary magazine (for one of my classes, but it’s a lot of work)
  • Enjoyed spring break with my partner
  • Stayed on top of grading
  • Tried some new recipes
  • Set up the elliptical, though I haven’t used it much yet
  • Finished a cross-stitch project and got most of the way through another

Blogs


Writing

My next blog will talk more about this, but I hate writing the beginnings of new books. This is the part of the process that is the slowest and most painful part for me, so my word counts have been quite small and sporadic. Starting a new book means extra processing and thinking time, which on one hand is necessary and on the other is maddening as someone who wants to just get into the damn book already. The good thing is that I have the overall plot fairly nailed down as well as the emotional arcs. The Reanimator’s Remains is a story about family, in its various forms, and dealing with trauma. In Felipe’s case, those two concepts are linked in a way that is painful. This story is coming on the heels of my short story, “An Unexpected Question” (TRM #2.5), so if you read The Reanimator’s Soul, I highly recommend reading that short story as some of the details will be important in book 3. Plus, I just think it’s cute. The good thing is that I have all of my admin stuff for this book set up already, like the blurb, title reveal, preorder page, etc., so it should be smooth sailing for a while.


Hopes for April

  • Write 20k words of The Reanimator’s Remains (TRM #3)
  • Proof audiobook chapters of The Reanimator’s Soul (TRM #2)
  • Keep up with the Fungi and Frogs stitch-a-long I’ve joined
  • Maintain my mental health better (aka refill the well and use your elliptical)
  • Send out monthly newsletter
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
The Reanimator's Remains · Writing

Introducing The Reanimator’s Remains

This week’s blog post is a sort of title reveal/blurb reveal/preorder reveal for book three of the Reanimator Mysteries series.

The title of book three is The Reanimator’s Remains! Book three will be out October 29th, 2024, and you can preorder it in ebook form now at most major retailers. Paperbacks will come closer to release day.

The cover reveal will be later this summer, but for now, you can read the blurb below.


An autistic necromancer, his undead love, and a town built on secrets

When the dead start rising and wreaking havoc in the small town of Aldorhaven, no one at the Paranormal Society wants to take the case; no one but Oliver Barlow. While he knows little of his parents’ lives, he knows he was born in Aldorhaven. Perhaps there, he might finally find out what happened to them or if he has any family left.

The last thing Felipe Galvan wants to do is go to a strange town in the middle of the woods, but for Oliver, he’ll go. From the moment they arrive, Felipe is haunted by memories better left buried and reminded that one misstep is all it would take for him to lose control and become the monster he was always meant to be.

But it isn’t merely the dead plaguing Aldorhaven, something far worse lurks in the woods and in Oliver’s blood. Together, Oliver and Felipe must untangle the magic hidden in the town’s past and destroy it before it can claim Oliver’s life.


What can you expect from The Reanimator’s Remains?

The Reanimator's Remains by Kara Jorgensen, cover reveal coming this summer. Preorder now, out October 29th.
autistic necromancer x undead adhd-er, mm romance, family secrets, the dead are out for revenge, "I would die for you" "Then, live for me.", a spooky forest, a creepy murder town, dealing with trauma, book 3.

I will definitely talk more about The Reanimator’s Remains (TRM #3) as I work on it, but at its core, it’s a story about fighting fate and expectations and breaking cycles. I hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. You can preorder The Reanimator’s Remains at most major retailers, and if you haven’t read The Reanimator’s Heart or The Reanimator’s Soul, you still have time to do so before book three comes out in late October. You can also add it on Goodreads.

Writing

Research & the Discovery Writer

Something I greatly enjoy is learning about other writers’ processes for coming up with ideas and actually writing their books. What fascinates me most are writers who can seemingly research everything they need before starting a book. Every time I think about it, I laugh. That is certainly not my process.

The problem is that I am a discovery writer who plans their books out only a little at a time. For people who are more consistent outliners and planners, researching in advance might come far easier since they, generally, know what’s going to come up in their stories. I have no idea beyond broad strokes of what’s going to come up. For example, when I was working on “An Unexpected Question,” I knew I needed to research Coney Island, the amusement parks there, and 1890s men’s bathing suits since I knew the characters were going to Coney Island for vacation. What I didn’t realize was I would also need to research restaurants that were there in 1897, the ocean life around Coney Island, whether horseshoe crabs would be on the beach in August, street food in the 1890s, bathing machines, and a bunch of other minor stuff I hadn’t anticipated.

This is typical of what happens when I start writing a story. I have some very general idea of things that I need to research either because I know I will need the info or because I need to nail down what I think I want to do and have to eliminate things. While working on each of the Reanimator Mysteries books, I’ve read up on various occult things or aspects of medical cannibalism in order to decide the direction I wanted the books to go. Research is not strictly clarifying what I need to know but closing paths the story will eventually take.

The true issue is that I enjoy doing research. Someone once asked me, “How do you know when you’re done researching for a book?” My answer: you aren’t until the book is done because something will always come up that needs to be double checked, especially in historical fiction. As someone who is an eternal student and hoards special interests like a dragon hoards treasure, I’m okay with that because research is one of my favorite parts of writing, so I will do it the second I have an excuse to do so. I have gone down ridiculous rabbit holes over minor details that ultimately added up to one or two sentences.

The thing is, it’s probably only going to be a sentence or two, but some of the best ideas I’ve ever gotten came from doing random research. Knowing these minor details, especially in a historical context, helps to enrich a story and create greater depth than if I did all the research upfront. Even if the majority of readers have no idea, I know and some astute readers will pick up on it. It’s like throwing in Easter eggs, and it brings me joy.

This past week I decided to write a scene that involved a horse. I did not anticipate writing a horse scene and have actively avoided having horses in my stories by moving up the timeline for steam powered cars. The problem with horses is that it is very easy to screw them up. Horse enthusiasts will happily tell you that you royally screwed up a scene involving a horse, and I did not want to get an F in horse rep from the horse people. So what did I do? I did a deep-dive on horses in the 1860s for a 3 page scene because I was not getting it wrong. Then, I ran the idea past several people who confirmed I did not royally f up the horse in my book. If you’re a writer, horse people and historical gun people will happily tell that you messed up, and from my experience, the horse people are more than happy to help you get it right.

Some of you might be intimidated by having to do research for a book, but the time and effort it takes is worth it when you can put out a book that feels well constructed and thorough. It’s basically world-building, just world-building based in deep research or the past rather than constructed in your imagination. If you thinking about doing research for a book, I highly recommend not just looking at what you definitely need to know but things you may not use, and of course, read widely by getting works from scholars who are of marginalized backgrounds and/or research about people of those backgrounds. In regards to historical research, there are chunks of history that aren’t taught in schools, and it’s important to remember that when constructing your own books/worlds, so do you homework.

Personal Life

The Discomfort of Trying

Remember back in my discussion of social media and the devaluation of the arts, I mentioned how AI “art” partly arises from the discomfort of trying and being bad at art and how many tech bros don’t want to try to actually learn how to create art because a) it’s hard b) it takes time c) being bad at something is uncool d) caring enough to try for long periods is also uncool. That is vastly oversimplified, but you get the point.

In my infinite wisdom and procrastination as I work on book 3 of the Reanimator Mysteries series, I have decided to take up cross-stitching! Yes, folks, Kara is learning a new craft, and ironically, this time, there is no mental breakdown that has set it off. I was in a mental health low when I decided cross-stitching looked interesting, so maybe, I followed my usual pattern anyway, but I had been putting it off. At first, I wanted to finish “An Unexpected Question” and didn’t want to use my craft project as a procrastination method, which was sensible because I would have absolutely done that. Then, I kept putting it off, despite having AIDA cloth, hoops, floss, and a simple pattern. Why was I actively intrigued by projects and cross-stitchers I saw on Instagram but kept not starting a project?

Because what if I sucked at it? What if it was too hard?

I never thought those words exactly; I just sidled away from the project, putting it off for another day. When I finally realized what I was doing, I was pissed. Kara Jorgensen does not cower before a new craft project. Hell, my life’s goal is to be decent at every craft I can possibly learn, and if I can construct whole plastic canvas village sets, I can do a six by six inch cross-stitch pattern.

To force myself to actually start, I decided to participate in a stitch along (I’ll use SAL as an acronym for it here on out). SALs are when a cross-stitcher releases the pattern in pieces week by week, so week one you do the frames of the piece, week two you do a part in the upper left corner, week 3 you do part of the upper right, etc. In this case, it’s the Femurs and Fungi SAL by Fine Frog Stitching, which is supposed to have a sort of science goth, dark academia nature aesthetic. I saw it on Instagram and thought it looked really cool, so I bought the pattern, ordered all the materials on the list, and prepared myself to start the project in April. After following another SAL from a different creator a few months ago, I had always hoped to join one but never committed. Part of the fun with them is sharing your pieces each week to show off what you’ve done. It’s like having a community to cheer you on and having a sort of cheat sheet in case you get stuck since you can check out what other people have done with the patterns.

By joining, the SAL, which begins in early April, I set a deadline to learn the basics of cross-stitching. Most SALs are roughly advanced beginner to intermediate in terms of skill level, so I knew I would need to do a semi basic project to learn the ropes before I could do the SAL. A few weeks ago, I finally picked up my AIDA and hoop after watching like ten “how to cross-stitch” videos on Youtube. It didn’t look difficult, but that anticipatory anxiety remained. In a fit of oh-for-fucks-sake, I stuffed my fabric in a hoop, measured the center with a chalk pencil and got started, and guess what happened?

I sucked. Yes, I could follow a pattern since they’re very similar to plastic canvas patterns. Yes, I could put my stitches in the same way each time. But I struggled. I couldn’t find the holes in the AIDA, I couldn’t separate the floss properly and spent half an hour untangling it, I couldn’t thread the needle without taking five minutes to do so, and I couldn’t figure out how to hold the hoop without making my hand cramp. At one point, I did like twenty white-knuckled stitches and put it down. There was that little voice whispering, “Maybe this craft isn’t for me,” but instead, I stepped back and thought, “What am I doing wrong, and where can I make my life easier?”

I invested in a needle threader. I have a minor hand tremor that makes threading difficult. I already used one for plastic canvas yarn, so I bought one small enough for cross-stitch thread. One problem solved. That problem finding the holes on the fabric? Turns out, I was using the wrong size needle. I got the proper size, and the process is now significantly easier. A cross-stitcher on Youtube posted a video of how to properly pull the floss to separate it, and once I figured out that technique, the floss no longer tangled.

The vast majority of my problems were caused by inexperience, not ineptitude or a lack of innate talent. If I had someone teaching me, they probably would have taught me the tricks of the trade, but since I’m teaching myself, I needed to hunt down the things that are common knowledge to those who have been doing it for a long time. That isn’t true of just the world of crafts. Everything has those bumps that beginners don’t know about, and you can either throw down your hoop and give up or seek the answers yourself to figure out how to get past them.

The progress I’ve made over the past week has been significant. My stitches are no longer so wobbly or lopsided. I can find the holes in the AIDA much easier, which means I stitch faster and with more fluency. I’ve done creative projects long enough to know that there is always a skill acceleration, then a plateau, then another acceleration, etc. as you level up whatever skill you’re working on. At some point, I’ll hit another wall and have to go back to consulting my more experienced friends and the lovely people of Youtube who share their knowledge for free.

But the point is I’m learning by doing. I’m enjoying and trusting in the process of learning, even when it’s frustrating. Doing any sort of artistic endeavor is difficult, but if you want to learn it, do it. Do your homework, research the supplies you need, and dive in knowing you will be bad at it initially. The only way to get good at something is to actually do it, so trust the learning process and don’t be afraid to look for help online. Take this as your sign to use that craft kit or start that project.