Writer Rambles · Writing

Writer Rambles #2

You ever get mad at yourself because something that should work actually does work, so you’re mad at yourself that you put off doing it for so long. That was me this month with using sprints and giving myself concrete writing goals. I used to do this religiously, but recently, I fell off the wagon due to life, work, stress, etc. I told myself that I didn’t need to have goals because I can just write and that’s fine.

*Narrator voice* It was indeed not fine.

I started to get very down about myself because I was struggling to write consistently above a small(ish) amount per day with plenty of work days where I did nothing at all. This led to me feeling bad about myself and internally beating myself up. As you can imagine, this is counterproductive and only makes it harder to write. Not writing makes my mental health slip and my mental health slipping makes me not want to write. It can be a vicious cycle at times. Part of what was making it hard to write and stay on track was I was focusing on a minimum while trying to shoot for a maximum that was unattainable because in my head I was always playing catch-up. “My goal is x, but as long as I shoot for y, I’m okay.” This led to me hitting the smaller goal and feeling bad that I didn’t hit the bigger one. Playing catch-up constantly is stressful as hell, and when you can’t catch up because the goal was unrealistic, it makes everything worse.

In November, I vowed to not do that. I took out my blank word count tracker, set up a monthly goal that was reasonable enough for daily writing where if I missed a day, fully or partially, I could catch up in a day or two. So far, it has been working, and I’m mad at myself for not doing it sooner last month. I wish I had taken a second, regrouped, and restarted my word count goal midway through. My absolute refusal to recalibrate was my downfall, and I’m trying to be better about it because my autistic brain does not like to change or deviate from a plan once I have it in place.

If you’re curious as to what I am using right now to track all of this, I would like to warn you that I have redundancies because I’m still figuring out what my brain prefers at this point. I have a monthly sprints tracker from Sarra Cannon’s Heartbreathing resource library that I’m using to specifically track sprints each day as well as my word count. To track my overall writing goal until I finish, I’m using Pacemaker (which lowkey stresses me out a little, so I haven’t been using it as consistently), but for my monthly goal, I’m trying out TrackBear because a friend was recommending it. It’s similar to Nanowrimo’s graphs, which I think a lot of people will like. I find it less stressful to look at than Pacemaker right now. I have no idea why, but if it works, it works.

Sprinting has also helped a lot when I’m feeling resistance about writing because it is a concise amount of time that I need to work, and after that, I can be done. Often by the time I finish, I’m less stressed and can easily keep writing. I bought a timer cube to help with this as well because I had a bad habit of pausing internet-based timers. I really hate the fact that I need to work around my brain so much, but I’m trying to be kind to myself because the outside world in the US is very stressful and feeling out of control makes my anxiety so much worse.

The lesson I would like you to take away from this that took me too long to figure out is that if something isn’t working, stop and take a step back. Figure out what you need to do to regroup, be realistic with what you are capable of, and start over. You can get back on track. You just need to be flexible and allow yourself to do so.

Monthly Review

October 2025 Wrap-Up Post

October has been productive yet anti-climactic. It’s been one of those months where things weren’t bad, but they weren’t particularly good either. I’ve been trying to enjoy the small things more, like the leaves changing and spending time with my partner and pets. And, of course, writing. Let’s look at my goals for October again:

  • Write 20,000 words
  • Keep up with grades
  • Maintain my mental health
  • Make a dent in Christmas shopping
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out my monthly newsletter
  • Cover reveal??

Books

My goal was to read 8 books, and I read 11 in October.

  1. Make the Season Bright by Ashley Herring Blake- 4 stars, a sapphic second chance romance between childhood sweethearts set against a Hallmark style holiday matchmaking event. Of all of Blake’s books, I think this is my favorite so far, mostly due to the complexity of the characters.
  2. Magically Generated by Jackie Lau- 4 stars, a cynical woman and a sunshine man are neighbors in the same building, and she soon learns that not only is he jolly but that he is making ice sculptures all over the city in an unbelievable way.
  3. Queer as Folklore by Sacha Coward- 5 stars, a nonfiction book where the origins of folktales are examined for their queer roots. I loved how this book covered a wide spectrum of creatures and groups, including but not limited to vampires, werewolves, mermaids, pirates, and more much.
  4. A Mouthful of Dust (#6) by Nghi Vo- 5 stars, Cleric Chih reaches a town known for its pork noodles only to find a story about a past famine is far more disturbing than they bargained for. This pairs very well with Eaters of the Dead by Kevin Wetmore.
  5. Cinder House by Freya Marske- 5 stars, a Cinderella retelling where the titular character is a ghost compelled to clean who decides to have one last hurrah as a human and accidentally finds herself in a poly relationship.
  6. What Stalks the Deep (#3) by T. Kingfisher- 5 stars, this book reminded me so much of Jordan L. Hawk’s Widdershins books. Our sworn soldier is summoned to America to help an old friend only to face down monsters in a creepy mine.
  7. Smell by Nagabe- 4 stars, Nagabe’s work is almost always erotic, just as a heads-up. This one is two dogs with a smell kink. Yes, it’s weird. Yes, I still enjoyed it.
  8. The Moon on a Rainy Night (#7) by Kuzushiro- 4 stars, this is a sapphic YA series featuring a hard of hearing character. The girls finally get to put on their chorus performance and work at a maid cafe at school. It’s a very cute episode where we get to see them shine and support each other.
  9. Lore Olympus (#9) by Rachel Smythe- 4 stars, Persephone’s trial is over, and she and Hades are trying to start their life together, only Demeter is once again making things difficult.
  10. The Ancient Magus’s Bride (#21) by Kore Yamazaki, 4 stars, we are beginning a new arc here involving dragons. I really liked this volume as it brought back some older characters. I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.
  11. My Twisted Eating Disorder by Nagata Kabi- 4 stars, Kabi’s work is autobiographical and deals with her many mental health struggles as someone with an addictive personality. I would not recommend this volume if anyone has an eating disorder as it may be triggering, but it was interesting to see inside someone’s mind as they struggle with it.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Mostly worked on The Reanimator’s Fate
  • Caught up on my bookkeeping
  • Worked with my cover designer on the TRF cover
  • Worked on managing my stress better
  • Spent a lot of time with my partner (see bullet point above, lol)
  • My oldest dog had a seizure (he’s okay, but it was scary)
  • Voted in the NJ gubernatorial election
  • Pulled off a successful event at work with my students
  • Graded a shit ton of papers
  • Dealt with repairmen

Blogs


Writing

I don’t want to jinx it, but writing went well in October. I managed to untangle an issue I was having and make a chunk of The Reanimator’s Fate much more focused and less clunky than I had originally planned. I don’t want to give too much away, but I really like the arc in this book, especially the emotional one. Poor Felipe is going through it, as is Oliver. It’s going to be a rough one for the boys, but they will come out of it far stronger by the end. And Gwen also plays an important role in this story as well (since I know so many of you love Gwen like I do).


Hopes for November

  • Write 25,000 words
  • Reread and edit act 2
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out my newsletter
  • Cover reveal (hopefully)
  • Keep up with grading
  • Finish Christmas shopping
Monthly Review

September 2025 Wrap-Up Post

I don’t know about anyone else, but September was the month of chaos for me. Between random family stuff, a bunch of medical appointments, and other things beyond my control, I felt like I was pulled in ten different directions this month. At the same time, I do feel like I did decently but not on my goals for September. Let’s take a look at what they were.

  • Write 20,000 words of TRF
  • Work more on F&F rewrite
  • Set up my goals for Q4
  • Cover reveal
  • Set up preorder for TRF
  • Stay on top of grading
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out newsletter

Books

My goal was to read 8 books, and I read exactly 8.

  1. A Letter from the Lonesome Shore (#2) by Sylvie Cathrall- 4 stars, the final book in a duology set beneath the sea and told through letters and other found objects. It’s a really cool idea, and I absolutely love the main characters. At the same time, some of the characters come off as juvenile or weirder than they’re meant to.
  2. The Dragon’s Promise (#3) by Elizabeth Lim- 4 stars, the second half of Six Crimson Cranes follows the main characters are they reclaim their positions and figure out how to untangled their world from promises made with dragons. I loved the glimpses of history we get from this book and how they tie to the prequel book.
  3. Eaters of the Dead by Kevin J. Wetmore Jr.- 5 stars, a fantastic nonfiction book about how cannibalistic monsters tie back to death rites, famine, and other sociological causes. It was incredibly interesting and very useful if you are someone who is into why monsters appear and how they fit into our history.
  4. Her Radiant Curse (#0) by Elizabeth Lim- 4 stars, this feels more like a third book than a prequel. It needs to be read after The Dragon’s Promise to avoid spoilers for that series. I think I actually liked this better than the other two books in the series. Lim does a fantastic job weaving in folklore into fantasy.
  5. Conquering Writer’s Block by K. M. Weiland- 4 stars, useful for people who need a little reminder as to what is important how to untangle ourselves from brain chaos and doubt. For someone who has been writing for a long time, it’s nothing you don’t already know, but I do think hearing these things and refreshing our memories with a less than a hundred page book can make it worth it and useful when floundering.
  6. The Summer War by Naomi Novik- 5 stars, a book about sibling relationships, ineffectual parents, and how people need to stick together to create a better future. I especially loved how one of the main themes/messages is that leaving anyone behind means leaving everyone behind.
  7. A House with Good Bones by T. Kingfisher- 4 stars, a creepy rather than scary horror book about a house haunted by familial expectation. Really creepy and deliciously soft yet ghoulish (as many of T. Kingfisher’s books are). It probably won’t do it for diehard horror fans, but for chickens like me, it was great.
  8. To Clutch a Razor (#2) by Veronica Roth- 4 stars, a novella about dealing with familial trauma, revenge, and how to make things right. I absolutely LOVE this series and how it combines folklore and modern settings.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Set up the preorder for The Reanimator’s Fate
  • Made my goals for Q4
  • Set up my kanban board for Q4
  • The Reanimator’s Remains won in 3 categories of the Indie Ink Awards
  • Created a retroactive outline for The Reanimator’s Fate as I work on it
  • Did celebratory sushi for morale
  • Got my flu and covid shots
  • Got my car inspected and got my partner’s ID done
  • Paid Q2 author taxes
  • Went to my specialist appoint (just a refill, I’m fine)
  • Took my partner for blood work and doctor appointments
  • Dealt with family health stuff (partner’s, not mine but you know how it is)
  • Stayed on top of my grade… yay *laugh-sob*

Blogs


Writing

Writing this month was equal parts productive and chaotic. I had weeks where things went really well, but toward the end of the month, things went rapidly downhill due to external family chaos and a week full of appointments between me and my partner. I think I would have done better if we didn’t have so much crammed so close together, and as an autistic person, it’s really hard for me to do anything before an appointment and I often need to decompress after an appointment. It just takes the life out of me, as does unpredictable things that have to be done to help someone else. The Reanimator’s Fate has been going well, even with a week of no writing, and I’m really excited having it come out in late January. It will definitely be done by then, *knock on wood*.


Hopes for October

  • Write 20,000 words
  • Keep up with grades
  • Maintain my mental health
  • Make a dent in Christmas shopping
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out my monthly newsletter
  • Cover reveal??

Writing

Giving Myself a Pep Talk

I had a rough week. It was one of those weeks where nothing objectively terrible happened, but a bunch of small things conspired to absolutely wring the life out of you. I was exhausted from the semester starting again, I had a butt ton of papers to give feedback on, I had to go to the DMV to get my car inspected and have my partner get a new ID, my body decided to kick my butt in terms of fatigue and pain, and my partner’s mom ended up in the hospital for a moderately scary issue. Ultimately, mom-in-law is okay and on the mend, the papers got graded, and everything went well, but I barely got any writing done this past week.

On Thursday, I got home from work and thought I would finally be able to write now that everything had settled down, only to have the words bounce off my brain. I could feel myself ready to beat myself up over it, but instead, I stepped back and listened to an audiobook for a few hours before bed. Normally, I would try to just push through or punish myself by refusing to let myself read or decompress with anything fun because I didn’t “deserve” to have dessert if I didn’t eat my vegetables (aka writing). I’ve been trying to be better about recognizing when I’m mentally fried and need to do things to help me refill the well. Void staring as punishment does not help, and I’m glad that I trusted my body and allowed myself to decompress because, even though I didn’t write much on Friday, I was able to reread what I wrote the previous week to reacquainted myself with the text and edit a decent chunk of it.

Even if it was tiny, it was progress. Saturday was a bit better. I hit the point where I realized I needed to major edits on a scene and spent most of the day untangling that mess. Once again, it was a semi-low words day, but I still wrote and still worked on my book. Editing is time consuming and uses up a lot of brain power, which is why it’s sometimes hard to write afterwards. I resisted the urge to beat myself up again on Saturday because I did not hit my minimum goal or catch up. This was all made worse by this being the first week of September– first week, start strong, fresh start, blah blah blah. You get the mentality.

By Sunday, I had hit the realization that it’s just another week in the year. It is one week out of fifty-two, and falling short of your goals because you had a week from hell isn’t a going to ruin The Reanimator’s Fate or set me so far back I can never catch up. It’s fine. I’m fine. The book is fine. Ever since I realized I had to push back the release date for The Reanimator’s Fate, I have felt very guilty about it, even if my readers have been lovely about it. Releasing the book in early 2026 isn’t going to ruin anything or let down my readers who are eagerly waiting for the final book. No one is mad at me. No one hates me. The only one who is beating me up over it is me.

That’s really the crux of the matter: the only one punishing me for not being perfect is me. It’s still hard for me to grapple with the fact that giving 100% does not mean being at peak performance 24/7. I always feel like I should be writing 1k or more a day without fail, but that is unrealistic. 100% sometimes means just rereading what I wrote. Other days, it means just editing, and on bad days, 100% is refilling the well and watching Deadliest Catch while I passively think about what I want to write tomorrow.

My writing career is a marathon, not a sprint, so sustainability is key. Listening to my brain and body is a major part of that, and I’m trying to get better about not beating myself up when I need to take a short break to recharge. Sometimes, a month starts out rough, and that’s okay. A new week is a new week, no matter where in the month it falls. All that matters is that you start again and keep going.

Uncategorized

August 2025 Wrap-Up Post

August has simultaneously been the longest month and still flown by very quickly. This is probably because the semester started again for me this past week, which always makes the month feel a bit chaotic. Before we get into it, let’s get into what my goals were for August:

  • Write 20,000 words of TRF
  • Get my book cover stuff in order for TRF
  • Attempt to work on the F&F rewrite
  • Make my syllabi for my classes
  • Set up my Blackboards for my classes
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out newsletter

Books

My goal was to read 8 books, and I read 9 this month.

  1. The Memory of the Ogisi (#3) by Moses Ose Utomi- 4 stars, this was the conclusion of the Forever Desert series. It was incredibly interesting to see the cycle fully completed and how it relates to the earlier books. Highly recommend if you want a series of novellas that talks about how history is written by the victor and how that affects the future.
  2. The Shortest History of the Dinosaurs by Riley Black- 4 stars, an incredibly thorough yet short(ish) book on the history of the dinosaurs. I love a good overview, and Riley Black does a fantastic job of covering a lot in a way that feels like storytelling rather than info dumping. It makes nonfiction far more palatable.
  3. All Systems Red (#1) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, I’m going to lump the whole series into this one review because I don’t want to give away spoilers, and I think most of the reviews will be similar. I often find robot autistics to be off-putting, but Murderbot being autistic and asexual just hits for me. The poor thing just wants to be left alone to watch their dramas and chill, yet humans continually need savings and feelings keep coming whether they want them or not.
  4. Artificial Condition (#2) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, see book one.
  5. Rapport (#2.5) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, see book one.
  6. Rogue Protocol (#3) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, see book one.
  7. Exit Strategy (#4) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, see book one.
  8. Home (#4.5) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, see book one.
  9. Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher- 4 stars, a twist on the princess in a tower story involving a Muslim knight who keeps apologizing and a human-turned-faerie who just wants to protect humanity from the princess in the tower. T. Kingfisher is fabulous at turning fairytales on their head and humanizing characters you may have never thought about before.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Decided to push my release date of TRF to January 2026
  • Managed to keep my mental health out of the trash
  • Played a lot of Tiny Bookshop
  • Survived my first week back at work
  • Made/juggled a bunch of appointments for my partner
  • Set up my Blackboard accounts for my classes
  • Fixed my syllabi for my classes

Blogs


Writing

This month writing went really, really well. I always struggle during the first act of books, but now that I am squarely in the second act, things are getting going. I really like this draft so far, and I think you all will too. One thing that I was grappling with is not being able to finish The Reanimator’s Fate by the end of the year. December is a particularly hard month for sales, and due to that and because I want to give myself some cushion, I am going to release book 4 in January. Part of me was quite upset that I wouldn’t have a book release this year, but that is a goal I set myself, not anything required of me. And because this book is coming out so early, there’s a good chance that I will release another (probably Flowers and Flourishing’s rewrite) during 2026. I appreciate all of you and your patience as I’m working on this book.


Hopes for September

  • Write 20,000 words of TRF
  • Work more on F&F rewrite
  • Set up my goals for Q4
  • Cover reveal
  • Set up preorder for TRF
  • Stay on top of grading
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out newsletter

Writing

Dear Young Authors

For the past two weeks, I have spent more hours than I would care to admit watching videos about the Audra Winter situation. If you don’t know, Audra Winter is a 22 year old queer, autistic author who girl bossed to close to the sun, and through hubris and a lack of experience, she went from being a Tiktok marketing sensation who got 6,000 preorders on a sight unseen book to someone people are begging to listen and drop her ego because she doesn’t have the skill to back it up. BookLoverLaura‘s videos do a good job of capturing the whole situation. As a fellow queer autistic who made writing their whole personality in my younger years, I see a lot of my younger self in Audra, so I wanted to talk about some lessons I learned that might help other young authors along the way and things I wish I realized sooner.

  1. Don’t make your book/writing your whole personality– This often comes from a place of passion, which is great, but you are more than your book or your love of writing. Making your book or writing your whole personality becomes a problem when you start viewing any criticism of your book or process as a direct attack against you. Learn to separate your identity from your book or writing productivity. A secondary issue with this arises when you need to take a break or want to do something besides writing. If your entire identity is tied to one thing and you stop doing that thing, you are going to spiral. Staking your identity and self-worth on other people’s validation or one activity is a good way to set yourself up for mental health problems and an identity crisis in the future. As an aside, you are also probably insufferable to others if this is the only thing you do or talk about. Variety of interests is always a good thing. Be colorful.
  2. Younger isn’t always better.– Something I regret is publishing my first book at 23. The years between 23 and 25 provided a lot of growth for me as a writer and as a person. I think if I had waited a little longer, I could have made my first book even stronger structurally and emotionally. As much as I like it and am proud of 23 year old me, it makes me cringe to read now, which is to be expected as I have grown as an author. At the time I was writing it, I definitely had a chip on my shoulder and had plenty of things to work through as a person that hindered my writing in ways I didn’t understand at the time. Society pushes that younger is better and that “prodigies” are special, but authorship is a marathon, not a sprint. You want to create a sustainable writing career, and the younger you are, the more foolish you are and the more likely you are to tank your career over something you would never do as a more mature adult.
  3. Listen to other people!- One of the biggest frustration points with the Audra Winter situation is that she refuses to listen to anyone. You are not the first author to do something, and if everyone is doing something differently than you, there may be a reason for it. When you’re young, there’s often a feeling that you are special and doing things no one has ever done before, but in reality, you just have no idea what you’re talking about and don’t know enough to know what you don’t know. Inexperience breeds hubris. There are TONS of resources online for new authors to help them with writing, publishing, managing money, etc. Use those resources and ask authors who are more experienced than you rather than reinventing the wheel. Most authors are more than willing to point a newbie in the right direction, but if you come off as an arrogant tool, no one will want to help you. In regards to editors, you may not agree with everything they say, but if multiple people (betas, editors, readers, etc.) say the same thing, you need to tamp down your knee-jerk reaction to the feedback and see if they are right. Editors are trying to make your book better, and you will get called out if you ignore obvious issues in your books.
  4. You are not entitled to an audience or career.– I really hate pity marketing, which is when people post things like, hinting that people not buying your books makes you want to off yourself, “The tiktok algorithm keeps hiding my posts. Like and share to help me become a six figure author,” or even, “Support me because here are things the haters are saying about me.” It’s also those videos where it shows someone sitting at a table at Barnes and Noble with no one buying a book in order to guilt-trip people into supporting them. Tonally, there is a difference between this and talking about the realities of being an author. The latter doesn’t ask the viewer to buy anything or follow them. There will be times where a convention doesn’t work out or you sell zero books in a month, but you are not entitled to a following or an audience. Cultivating an audience is a two way street. The author has to create something of value for their audience and earn the audience’s trust by putting out repeated books that are of good quality, don’t feel scammy, and meet their readers’ expectations. If you don’t do those things, no one will want to read your work. Often, authors aren’t attracting the audience that fits with their books due to bad marketing, so you need to do things that will attract those people. Ultimately, whether you get an audience is partly due to algorithms and luck online and partly due to how you present yourself and your books to the world. You are not entitled to anyone’s time, money, or attention.
  5. Don’t expect your income to continually grow every month.- There’s an expectation that businesses will grow in an upward diagonal line, but that isn’t how it works, especially as an author. Your income will yo-yo. There are slow points during the year where sales dip and times where they boom, and if you do sales or bundles, you will often see hills and valleys. There are times when releases don’t make as much money off the bat as you expect or the algorithms change and you see a dip in sales. These things are going to happen. You need to brace yourself for really low income months and spend your money assuming the highs are not going to last. Audra Winter made a ton of money on preorders, and she immediately incorporated into an LLC on the assumption that the money would continue to roll in. There’s a 99% chance it will not continue at that magnitude, so don’t put the cart before the horse and assume you are suddenly going to be successful forever. Virality doesn’t equal long-term success. Building a sustainable author career is key to avoiding burnout and expanding your readership, so focus on the long-term success, not short-term hills and valleys.

If you takeaway nothing else from this post, I hope my younger author friends remember that your author career is a marathon, not a sprint. Build a solid foundation rather than trying to do all the things or trying to go viral, and early success does not guarantee future success. Listen to others, and above all, be yourself/be a person with hobbies beyond writing.

Monthly Review

July 2025 Wrap-Up Post

July was one of those months where I feel like I didn’t get a lot done, but it’s because I was mostly focused on one thing, well two things: not losing my marbles with *gestures to the US* and writing The Reanimator’s Fate. As a refresher, here were my goals for July:

  • Write at least 20,000 words of TRF
  • Set up the preorder for TRF
  • Work a little on the rewrite of F&F
  • Manage my stress better as a USian living in this hellscape
  • Keep up with my bullet journal better
  • Catch up with my cross-stitch
  • Enjoy my birthday
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • send out my monthly newsletter

Books

My goal was to read 8 books, and I read 9 during July.

  1. The Ancient Magus’s Bride (#20) by Kore Yamazaki- 4 stars, in this volume we are heading into a new arc at the college where the families are coming together and the kids are going to be stuck in another power play. I’m interested to see where this new arc goes.
  2. Six Crimson Cranes (#1) by Elizabeth Lim- 4 stars, a princess realizes her stepmother is actually an evil snake, witch person who turns her six brothers into cranes and makes it so the princess cannot speak about her past without killing her brothers. While in exile, they struggle to break the curse and defeat their stepmother with the help of the princess’s betrothed (who doesn’t recognize her) and a dragon.
  3. Ark by Veronica Roth- 5 stars, the world is ending and the only people left behind are those working on a seed bank that they will take from earth to their new outer space home. It’s a story about loss, futures, and what is truly important. It is very short, but I LOVED it immensely.
  4. Void by Veronica Roth- 4 stars, a murder mystery on a space cruise that has some interesting wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff going on. I won’t say more to avoid spoilers, but it was also quite good.
  5. Therapy Game Restart (#5) by Meguru Hinohara- 5 stars, in this volume, the one MC is doing a photoshoot for the drag queens at his job at a beautiful location, which turns steamy with his boyfriend after they haven’t been able to have any time together. It is a very sweet and steamy volume, and I absolutely love seeing these two navigate a new world together. There are also more hints about a trans side character that is quite interesting.
  6. Copper Script by KJ Charles- 5 stars, an amputee graphologist falls in with a honest, straight-laced police detective who must solve a mystery together while navigating anti-queer historical sentiment, mobsters, and a crooked cop in high places. I really enjoyed this story and how much of London at this time period we get, especially the diversity of it.
  7. Masked City (#2) by Genevieve Cogman- 3 stars, a world-hopping librarian and her dragon librarian trainee sidekick get more than they bargained for when stealing a book turns into a kidnapping. Kai, the dragon, gets taken to a chaos world of fae where our librarian must find him before the magic breaks all of them and sets them on a crash course with fae who would happily sacrifice them like pawns.
  8. Compulsy (#0.5) by Martha Wells- 4 stars, a little prequel to Murder Bot. I bought the box set for the first half of the series and dipped my toe in by reading this short. I’m eager to read the others and get more of our sardonic but good hearted murder bot.
  9. Fence: Challengers (#7) by C. S. Pacat and Johanna the Mad- 4 stars, the boys are now at a fencing competition where they need to face rivals, be strategic, and perhaps figure out where they stand with each other. This is sort of a bridge/filler volume, so it is a little slower than others but not bad.

Admin/Behind-the-Scenes Stuff

  • Was on the Trope-ology Podcast and talked about hurt-comfort
  • Had a lovely and relaxing birthday
  • Ventured to the DMV in person (bleck) and renewed my license
  • Actively tried to pace myself to avoid burnout
  • Managed to catch up with my bullet journaling
  • Finally hit my stride with TRF (this was my main focus this month)
  • Blogged weekly
  • Sent out my monthly newsletter

Blog


Writing

I figured now was a good time to give a bit of a writing update about book 4 since it’s been a while. Usually by now I would have a cover reveal and a preorder for the next Reanimator Mysteries book up by now, and frankly, that has been weighing on me. Earlier this year, I had a few setbacks writing it. Initially, I was absolutely fried. With the US election going the way it did and then just being tired from writing, it took longer than usual to get a plot together. As soon as I thought I had an idea, I jumped into writing it only to belatedly realize it wasn’t working. I ended up having to completely restart the draft of TRF from scratch. It was the best option, but it also set me back by like 2-3 months, so more than likely, book 4 won’t be out until the end of November or beginning of December. I don’t want to set a preorder for it until I’m a bit farther along and better gauge when it will be finished since pushing preorder dates out can be dicey.

What I can tell you is that I am really happy with how this draft is turning out (especially compared to the previous one), and that hopefully by the end of August, I will have a preorder and possibly a cover. We’ll see about that one as I don’t ever want to rush my designer who has been very understanding about me having to push things back. In July, I was able to write a significant amount, all of which works well and has been edited, so the draft is rather clean this far. This book starts with a bit of a groutesque bang that I hope all my book lovers will appreciate 😉 More than anything, I want this to be the ending Oliver, Felipe, Gwen, and my readers deserve, so I hope you will hang in there while I make it as good as possible for you all.


Hopes for August

  • Write 20,000 words of TRF
  • Get my book cover stuff in order for TRF
  • Attempt to work on the F&F rewrite
  • Make my syllabi for my classes
  • Set up my Blackboards for my classes
  • Read 8 books
  • Blog weekly
  • Send out newsletter

Writing

Do You Need a MFA to Write?

Many writers hear this from teachers or other writing professionals: if you want to be a writer, you need an MFA in creative writing. As someone with an MFA in Creative and Professional Writing, I am here to say you absolutely do not need one with some caveats and things to consider.

My first question to you is, do you want to teach creative writing? One of the most useful things to me that I got out of my MFA program was the pedagogy aspect. I think I took 2 or 3 classes on teaching as a discipline and had at least one creative writing class where creating lesson plans was a larger component of the class. Teaching writing and literature classes was a major thing I wanted to do, so getting an MFA in creative writing gives me more legitimacy in academia. I would also say if you started a Youtube channel or wanted to teach a course or do book doctoring/coaching, having an MFA does add a layer of authority. If you don’t plan to teach writing in some form, you don’t need it. Everything else can be learned through other avenues, many of which are free.

My next question would be do you want to write literary fiction? The reason I ask this is because a lot of programs only focus on literary fiction or delineate that they don’t accept genre fiction. I was in a rather lit fic-focused program, but I was lucky enough to have a professor who writes crime fiction as my first teacher at this program who was incredibly affirming and loved my work. If I had gotten a different professor first, I may not have had as solid of an ego foundation as I did, and being forced to write only lit fic would have upset me as would the patronizing tone of some of the teachers when discussing genre fiction elements. If you are thinking about going into an MFA program as a genre fiction writer, you need to take a long, hard look at the programs you’re applying to and if you can handle people wrongly ragging on your genre of choice. It can shake your confidence and derail the progress you have made.

My experience with my MFA program was a mixed bag. I had a handful of professors who were absolutely fantastic (one was a poet and the other a crime fiction writer especially were amazing) while a few others were horrible (a different poet and the head of the program who was supposedly a fiction writer). The things I really didn’t enjoy about it and that are fairly common with these programs is that there is a heavy emphasis on literary fiction and traditional publishing. This can shut out genre fiction writers or self-publishing writers who don’t feel like they are part of this world or that no matter what they do, it isn’t enough. Truthfully, I don’t like to send my shorter works to literary magazines because there’s little eyeball traffic and no money, and I need to feed my dogs. A lot of what MFA programs promote are prestige-based, so writing for the love of it rather than being paid fairly. Privilege is rife in these programs, and unless you can get into a fully paid program, I don’t recommend dropping tens of thousands of dollars to learn things you could easily find on the internet or in craft books. Also, keep in mind that many MFA programs are also literature focused, so you may be required to take master’s degree level literature classes. If you aren’t an English major or have a literature background, you might struggle. At the same time, there are a few things MFA programs do well that you can replicate on your own with a group.

The two strong suits that I found with my program (besides the teaching portion) were editing and critique groups. These sort of feed off of each other. As a writer, I highly recommend finding a structured critique group to help you get good feedback on your work. I have a blog about this already, which will help you know what to look for with a critique group. These groups should be of people who are at your level or slightly above to help you learn what works and what doesn’t with your work, and it should be consistent in order for you to get the most out of it. Because you get so much feedback in an MFA program as most classes have workshop portions, you end up focusing a lot on editing. The biggest takeaway from these programs is that writing is a process. The process, not the end product, is important. You need to learn your craft, write, edit, write more, edit more, etc. That is something I 100% stand by and agree with. After getting feedback from your workshop group, you need to learn to filter out feedback and figure out what works best for you, what fits with your story, and when you are being oversensitive when it comes to feedback. I haven’t necessarily found a good resource for this online, but I think you need to have thick skin but, more importantly, a clear picture of what you want your story to look like in the end. If you don’t have a vision, you will get led around by the feedback others give you, and they may not be your intended audience.

Once you’ve gotten some feedback from others, I highly recommend doing craft work in the areas that you struggle with, like dialogue, grammar, making things sound natural, writing descriptions, creating mood, etc. There are a lot of great thesaurus style books online that you can buy that help you with conflict, setting, emotional threads, etc. that I highly recommend if you need a reference book to aid you in developing those aspects. I would also suggest checking out Sarra Cannon’s Youtube channel HeartBreathings as she talks a lot about writing as a business and as a writer. She makes some fantastic worksheets and videos to aid in structuring your book and writing your characters’ journeys. These are actually things my MFA program didn’t cover at all, so I ended up relying on Sarra’s videos during my time in grad school. I also have a Pinterest board that has a ton of helpful goodies about writing.

The most important thing I would like you to focus on is figuring out what works best for you and your process. Becoming a writer is a marathon, not a sprint, so finding sustainable habits is key to not burning out. I want you all to succeed and go on to having fulfilling writing careers, no matter what that looks like, and to do that, you need to care for your body and mind first. Take care of your hands (stretch, think ergonomics, don’t keep writing if they hurt). Don’t shrimp (get an ergonomic chair or sit in a comfortable position, straight and stretch once in a while or get a walking desk). And most importantly, you can push back a deadline far easier than you can push off burnout. The key to a long career isn’t an MFA, it’s figuring out the best path for you, whether it’s traditional or self-publishing, being true to your vision, taking feedback, and continually growing as an author while still making sure to care for your body and mind.

Writing

No, You Shouldn’t Use AI, Even on the Small Stuff

If you’ve followed me on social media for longer than a few days, you know I hate AI. I am morally opposed on every level to AI because it not only destroys the environment but is a tool of fascism. As much as I would like to word vomit about that, instead, I would like to speak about why writers shouldn’t use AI, even for seemingly minor details as so many AI-using authors claim to do.

Here’s the thing, there are no truly minor details or unimportant parts of a book as everything needs to further the characterization and mood of the story.

I can already feel some writers rolling their eyes at that. Feel free to do so at your own peril. Writers who are willing to hand over parts of their project to AI to “free up their time” to do other things should instead look at their relationship to hustle culture and why they have chosen quantity over quality. Hustle culture is rife in the writing world with many author groups pushing a churn and burn mentality where authors need to publish every 3 months or be lost to irrelevancy. If you go onto Amazon’s top 100 category boards for books on writing, you’ll find books about writing more or writing faster. While those can be useful, writing more isn’t the same as writing good or better books. The hustle side of the writing world stresses that readers don’t care about the books themselves. They’ll read anything as long as it checks off a few boxes for them, and that once you have hooked them, readers will come back every 90 days to choke down whatever book you throw at them.

I despise this mentality. For one, it is patronizing to readers. Readers won’t stick around if your book sucks or if the quality goes down over time. We’ve seen this with readers noticing an author with a massive backlist has turned to AI, and they abandon them when the writing becomes nonsensical or the quality change becomes noticeably bad. I don’t like when authors treat their readers like shit or take advantage of them by assuming they will always be there no matter how they treat them or how crappy their books are. If you’re a writer, I believe you should write for yourself first, but anything you sell to readers should be the best it could possibly be for them since they’re the ones supporting you monetarily.

What I hate even more about the hustle culture mentality is the way corporate speak has made its way into creative fields. Creativity can and should make you money. Artists should be paid fairly for their work and be able to make a stable living off of it. At the same time, I don’t think creativity should be treated like a business in the way that corporations expect exponential growth at all times. It is unsustainable. We cannot write more books every single year and increase our yearly word counts exponentially. It is impossible and will quickly lead to burn out and quality loss. In order to meet these unsustainable quotas, authors turn to AI because others have convinced them that if they outsource the tedious parts of writing to the machine, they will free up time to write more of the things they enjoy or just write faster. The problem is that those tedious parts aren’t useless; everything in your book should serve a purpose.

What many of these “write more in less time” gurus purposely ignore is writing as a craft. There is almost no discussion of how to make your writing better, only how to do it faster. If they did care about craft, none of them would be suggesting using AI. As someone who teaches young writers how to better their work, every piece of writing I have seen from AI is far worse and emptier than anything brand new writers in my classes have come up with. AI writing is confusing, devoid of charm or character, and just flat-out bad. 0/10 do not recommend using it because it will take way more time to edit than just writing something yourself. A study with people who code showed that while they thought they were taking less time using AI, they were actually taking longer because they had to review it, fix it, etc (source). This is on top of the environmental harm, the fact that it is a tool of fascism, and a plagiarism machine.

The thing that a lot of writers using AI for the “boring parts” don’t seem to understand is that the minor details are incredibly important to your story. One of my most hated posts online is the whole, “Only English teachers care that the drapes are blue. They’re just blue. The author just gave it a random color. It isn’t that deep.” Sure, that can be true occasionally, but 99% of your descriptions and details should be purposeful. When you are creating a world, even if a story takes place in the real world, you are building a microcosm specific to your characters and the story you are telling. Therefore, there is an added level of cohesion and purpose in those details that might not appear in our material reality. When you are setting the scene, you need to think about how you want the reader to feel while interacting with this part of the world, how the structure fits the function of this setting, and how the point of view character effects the way the world is interpreted or experienced. For example, a character with a phobia of dentists is going to view, experience, and describe a dental office differently than someone who doesn’t think getting their teeth cleaned is a traumatic experience. If you just let AI fill in the description of the dental office, you are losing that context. Even if the character isn’t scared of it, they will still notice details other characters won’t, and while you’re writing your story, that should be something you focus on.

The other place I’ve heard people using AI for “busy work” in books is dialogue. This really makes no sense to me because dialogue is one of the best ways to insert characterization, motivation, and movement into a story. Even if you feed a chat bot relevant information about your character, it isn’t going to understand the context of your work and anything about the character below a surface level. Any dialogue it spits out will be generic, boring, and probably ill-fitting for the moment. This is one of those situations where editing extensively will be necessary and will probably take longer than just writing it yourself.

But what if I’m stuck? Why can’t I just use AI to fill in the gap for me?

Because that’s cheating! It’s cheating yourself out of using your brain to puzzle out what should go next. It’s like saying, “I find this exercise hard, so I’m going to use a motor to move the dumbbell for me.” It isn’t going to help you, and at some point, your writing muscles are going to shrink and atrophy until you can’t write anything without constantly circling back to AI. Using AI long-term causes cognitive problems (source). If you continually use it to help write your books, you will become more dependent on it and eventually get worse at writing. The best way to combat this is to face the things that challenge you head-on. Why are you stuck on this dialogue? Why do you struggle with description? Do you not know when you need to add it, or do you simply need some resources to help you name things?

There are a ton of writing resources online made by authors for authors, many of which are free. Instead of using AI, slow down and invest time and effort into getting better at your craft. I know hustle culture says write more, write faster, publish quicker, but the best way to get ahead as a writer is to take time for yourself and do things to be a better writer. Sometimes, that looks like taking a break to read good books, watch shows that stoke that creative fire, do other crafts to refill your well. Other times, it’s dissecting how other authors write well and figuring out how to do that in your own way. Writing takes work, and work means effort on your part. Using AI to write the things that you struggle with or find boring means that you are cheating yourself out of the opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better writer. Before you run to ChatGPT for help when you get stuck, look up a resource on Google that can help you with this particular thing. If you are struggling, others have too, and there’s a 90% chance that someone has made something to help you figure it out on your own.

Personal Life

Weighing My Options

I have started to apply for jobs outside of academia. It’s a decision I haven’t come to lightly, but after over eight years of being an adjunct professor, I don’t think I can afford to stay in this position for much longer. The sad thing is that this isn’t due to my spending habits or being bad at my job, it’s because academia is being run like a business rather than a school.

If you aren’t in academia, let me give you a primer on the job market: it’s shit. In most areas, there are very few jobs and lots of people graduating from grad school who loved their experience and want to be that professor for future students, so they all take up adjunct positions, which are contract-based, part-time teaching positions. Usually, you don’t get any benefits, you are paid very poorly, and you can’t have more than two classes per semester per school. Often, adjuncts work at two or three schools and have other part-time jobs on the side in hopes that it’ll make up the difference. The adjuncts who aren’t doing all of that have family money or a spouse with a really good job. When a position in your field opens, thousands of people apply all at once, so your chances of even getting an interview are incredibly low just based on numbers. If a position at your current employer opens, there’s an even lower chance since most schools won’t hire one of their adjuncts for full-time work. Don’t ask me why. I don’t get it either.

What ends up happening is that professors of color, queer professors, working class professors, and those with other marginalized identities have to work their asses off extra hard to get noticed on top of working extra jobs. You can be a stand out or be supported and appreciated by your department, like I am, and still have no chance of becoming a full-time professor with a stable paycheck because the university isn’t hiring. Professors retire, and their jobs aren’t filled. Other professors in the department pick up the slack and the lower level classes go to adjuncts. Partly this is due to the devaluation of the humanities in my case, but it’s also due to the political climate as students don’t see college as a safe bet, just a mountain of debt.

For the past eight years, I have loved teaching. I love teaching writing, I love my students, I love my school (which is also my alma mater), and I love my department. The problem is that I’m being exploited by the system, not the people around me, which makes it very hard to pull away. Higher ed relies on adjuncts to stay afloat. They exploit that so many of us want to teach our subject and will ignore our needs to do it. They bank on the fact that we’ll have outside monetary support and if we don’t that we’ll rely on Medicaid, SNAP, or other supports that they don’t need to provide. The problem is that at some point, this becomes unsustainable.

By the end of this semester, I could feel my brain and body fraying. It feels impossible to keep up, and with the current administration threatening to rip these support systems out from us, I’m extra stressed and frayed. All I’ve wanted was to be a writer, teach writing, and have a modest life with my partner, and that middle class dream feels impossible. In a moment of fleeting panic, I applied to one writing job, and then, I saw another online that looked right up my alley. I’m not quitting teaching or applying to every job I come across. I don’t want to trade one mess for another, but I’m tired of being ground down by a system that pays teachers nothing and administrators six figures. Apparently, it would cost too much to pay me fairly for my time, so I am looking for someone who thinks my skills are worth the expense.

What irks me is that I am a good professor. I’m good at my job. I give my students so much of myself and my time. I accommodate my students without paperwork. I do my best to anticipate their needs and make sure my marginalized students are supported while giving my international students the confidence to write well and have the space to learn and become more comfortable writing in English. As far as I know, I’m one of the only out trans professors on campus (if not the only), and if I leave, I will leave a gap behind. I know I’m easily replaceable to the administrators, but I would like to think that with the students and my department, I would be missed. I managed to cling on for over eight years because I’m white and live at home. Those less privileged than me have come and gone far quicker, and it shouldn’t be like this. Higher education pushes about those most motivated to help marginalized students because they aren’t willing to pay for our talent. In this age of people yelling about DEI, I have to ask where? Is the DEI in the room with us? Because most of the adjuncts and professors who are able to stick it out long enough to get hired are either very privileged or have worked themselves into the ground to get there.

While I’m not leaving teaching yet and won’t until I have a position lined up, I am eyeing the exits and hating that I am.