What to Buy Your ND Friends

November 16, 2025November 16, 2025 Kara Jorgensen1 Comment

As we head into the holiday gift-giving season, I thought I would make a list of some cool things to buy the neurodivergent in your life. I posted about this last year on Bluesky, and a lot of people found it helpful, so I thought I might share it here.

Disclaimers: the links are affiliate links, so I get a little kickback if you buy anything. Also, every neurodivergent person in your life is different. These are base ideas, not something that will appeal to everyone. The idea is that you can take these and use them as a springboard for buying things for others or padding out the gifts you plan to get them.

Silicone plate dividers– These silicone plate dividers keep your wet food and dry food from touching. They’re dishwasher safe and come in multiple colors.
A divided cereal bowl– A divided cereal bowl keeps your cereal and your milk separate. It’s a great way to avoid soggy food. Also useful for yogurt and toppings or just having chips/dip that don’t touch.
A dip holder– I promise this is the last food related one, but keeping your wets from touching your dries is always a thing. This is a little container that clips to your plate and will hold your sauce.
A weighted blanket– This one comes in lots of cute colors and patterns. I do suggest getting a cover for your weighted blanket, so you don’t need to throw a 15 lb blanket in your washing machine (it is chaos)
A duvet cover for the weighted blanket– This is so you don’t need to throw a 15 lb blanket into the washing machine (it takes FOREVER for them to dry if you do and will make your washer and dryer shake/walk, trust me this is worth it).
A shark robe/snuggie thing– If you’re friend is trans and ND, this is a silly one but trust me on it, they’ll think it’s hilarious. Plus, being able to pull a giant hood over your head is just chef kiss
The Comfy– My partner swears by the Comfy when they’re overstimulated (and perpetually cold). It’s oversized, and you can basically crawl into it or pull the hood over your head. It’s soft, warm, no weird fabrics or irritating strings.
A moon lamp– Sometimes you just need to lay in the dark with some soft colorful lighting. This lamp has a clicker with different colors. It’s very peaceful and aesthetic, especially if they’re into space stuff.
A human-sized dog bed– Do you like floor time, but you have the back/neck of a 30+ year old? Try the human sized dog bed.
A Japanese futon/tatami mat– Same idea as the human dog bed for floor time, but it’s easier to roll up and put away. It’s also more expensive, though bigger.
Color, Taste, Texture by Matthew Broberg Moffitt– A cookbook to help with someone who has food aversions/sensitivities by helping them figure out what they can/can’t tolerate and building from there.
Loop earplugs– to lessen sound without making you completely unable to hear. They come in many colors and levels of blockage.
A hug blanket– If you aren’t a fan of weighted blankets but like compression that isn’t too hot, this is a good alternative as it’s much lighter and more like a sleeve.
A timer cube– I like them for getting past bad executive dysfunction or for telling myself, I just need to clean for 15 min, etc. Caveat: the noise is hideous, like an alarm clock.
A grocery list pad for the fridge– If you forget what you’re out of, I like to put this on the fridge with a magnetic pen, so I can mark off what we’re out of when I notice. It’s a good way to avoid a 5 soy sauce bottles situation.
Safe and Sound by Mercury Stardust- Not necessarily ND specific, but I like being able to do things on my own with clear, step-by-step written instructions and accompanying videos. The Trans Handy Ma’am’s book has been helpful with basic home repair.
Noise-cancelling headphones– because noise = overstimulation. Some are far more expensive, but these are a good basic pair. They can get SUPER pricey
Other ideas:
- Buy things relating to their special interest.
- Give them a gift card to a place they like if they don’t like surprises.
- Do not buy an experience with a date unless you’ve talked to them about it before.
- More of their [nonperishable] safe food.
- Ask them what they want. We appreciate it.

Personal Life

Reintroducing Myself

February 25, 2024February 26, 2024 Kara Jorgensen1 Comment

Since a lot of people read my blog and followed along after my two part blogs on how social media/capitalism are decimating the arts, I thought I would reintroduce myself (and because I deeply needed a palate cleanser blog that wasn’t me yelling about capitalism).

My name is Kara Jorgensen (they/them), and I am a queer, nonbinary author of nine books. As a little background, I have a BA in English and biology and a MFA in Creative and Professional Writing, and besides writing, I’m also an adjunct professor teaching freshman writing classes and creative writing. I’m an eternal student who loves learning new things and deep-diving into research for my books or whatever interesting thing crosses my path. If I could continually go back to get degrees/study new disciplines, I would. Some of my favorite things to research are the 1890s, food history, Ancient Egypt, medical history, diseases, folklore, and the history of crafts/art/fashion. There’s definitely more that I’m missing, but those tend to be what I gravitate toward most.

Besides writing and reading, I’m also a crafter. I have been creating art in its various forms for as long as I can remember, but I’m particularly fond of crochet and plastic canvas. Soon, I’ll be getting into cross-stitch (and hopefully embroidery as well) as soon as my supplies come in. One day, I’d love to get back into painting and drawing more, but for now, that sort of creative spirit is relegated to my bullet journal spreads. Stickers and planner supplies, like washi tape, are another weakness, especially when I can support my favorite artists in the process. My aesthetic preferences tend to be on the Gothic side, so if you ever see my crafts, please know that they’re either super colorful or Goth ninety percent of the time.

If you noticed that I have a lot of special interests, it’s because I’m autistic. In my books there tend to be a lot of characters who are neurodivergent, mentally ill, and/or chronically ill because I am all of the above. Growing up, I didn’t see many autistic characters that reflected my experiences or who were queer, so my most recent books, The Reanimator Mysteries series, has a queer, autistic main character that embodies many of my experiences.

Speaking of my books, all of them have queer characters, and they are all paranormal, historical fantasies set in the 1890s. My first series, The Ingenious Mechanical Devices, is set in mostly in England while my last three newer books are set in America. If you’re interested in checking out my books, I highly recommend The Reanimator’s Heart, which is about an autistic necromancer who accidentally reanimates his murdered crush. Together, they go on to solve his murder and others, and I promise there is a happy ending. It’s in ebook, paperback, and audiobook. You can also check out The Earl of Brass, which is my first book and is free in ebook form. If you want something a little less heavy, I would suggest Kinship and Kindness, which features a trans man fox shifter who wants to unionize the shifters at the Paranormal Society and accidentally falls for a strapping werewolf who is leading a delegation in his father’s stead. All of my books are available at all major retailers and in library systems.

You can also join my monthly newsletter. If you join, you’ll get free short stories for The Reanimator Mysteries series along with a stand alone sapphic novella called Flowers and Flourishing, which features a trans woman MC, a jaguar shifter, and a gorgeous painting. In each monthly newsletter, you get writing updates, a dog pic, and a morbid research tidbit. Plus, whenever I write a short story, you get it for free.

If any of this sounds like your kind of thing, I hope you’ll stick around. On this blog, I will post more about writing as a craft, book research, author updates, monthly wrap-ups, and the occasional rant/essay on topics I’m passionate about.

Personal Life

Neurodivergence and Jury Duty

July 30, 2023July 13, 2023 Kara Jorgensen1 Comment

Sometimes it’s easy to forget I’m autistic. I have sort of built a life for myself where my weaknesses are minimized and my strengths are (mostly) highlighted. My job allows me plenty of decompression time, I can sort of pick my time slot, and my schedule is very predictable 90% of the time. The problem comes when I’m thrown a curve ball, and I’m repeatedly reminded that the world isn’t built for my brain.

In the first half of July, I had jury duty. To be clear, I didn’t get picked, but I had to attend jury duty selection, which means a week of my life was put on hold with a metaphorical piano hanging over my head. The funny thing is, I think actual jury duty would be far easier for me to deal with than the selection process, but let’s talk about the ways in which this was not an accessible or smooth experience for me as an autistic person.

Faces on cameras

It is overwhelming for me to stare at 60+ people on camera and know they are staring back at me. When I taught remotely early on in the pandemic, I didn’t require my students to show their faces, and I didn’t show mine. Every face is a lot of data or background noise/sensory input to deal with. Being on camera, even if I’m meant to be idle while waiting, feels performative. I’m hyper aware of every micro expression I am or am not making. As autistics, we’re often penalized for our resting bitch face or lack of expression, so I sat there for hours schooling my face into something close enough to mild interest that no one would say anything. On top of this, there were no captions (if there were, I couldn’t figure out how to turn them on). It’s hard to understand people when Zoom is cutting in and out, and I assumed I could turn it on and never asked anyone to do so preemptively. Things got garbled, especially when I was trying to listen and not look at myself or other people.

Schedules? Don’t know her

This was honestly the worst part. I never knew when anything was supposed to happen, or we’re told one thing but other instructions contradict it. One paper says you will hear from us by 5:30 PM, the woman on camera says 5:00 PM. The orientation itself wasn’t bad, but it was 3+ hours of instructions and time killing followed by being stuck in OCD purgatory (more on that later). I didn’t know if I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom or if I could run my dogs outside really fast. The same thing happened during the selection process when we were initially told they would tell us who was on-deck to speak to the judge, so if we needed to get water or pee, we could. Then, they stopped telling us and just started calling people. The flipflopping on the setup was frustrating because as soon as I thought I got a handle on what was going on, it changed. On top of this, you never know what day you can or will be called. They say check your email after 5 PM every day this week to hear about the next day. That’s a lot of time to have zero predictability in my schedule. By Wednesday, I had no idea what day it was and felt completely unmoored. I didn’t even know if there was a possibility of being called on Friday. The paperwork made it seem like yes while the judge that talked to us made it sound like it didn’t happen. Nothing makes sense in jury duty selection.

Checking OCD trigger central

I have checking OCD (I came to understand that’s what it was during a therapy appointment during the pandemic). It used to manifest as checking my dad’s Fitbit all day while he was at work to monitor his heart rate because the fear was if I don’t check, he might have a major heart event, not realize it, and die. Since he passed, my checking OCD has been mostly under control. On the first day of jury selection, they said the worst thing they could have to me, “Check your email every 15-20 minutes.” Now, to normal people, this translates to check your email at least 2-3 times an hour. My paranoid, anxiety ridden self took this as check your email every 5-10 minutes, don’t believe it, refresh it, do it again, and check your phone. I was so afraid that I would get involved in something and miss an important email that I basically sat at my computer from 11-4:00 (when I got an email from them) doing nothing but futz around on Twitter and check my email. Once I realized I got an email AND a text if they needed me, that curbed my checking anxiety a bit, but the feeling of being yanked back into that spiral was horrible.

Yes or no questions

I hate yes or no questions, especially when people demand it be a yes or no under penalty of law for lying. Logically, I know I’m not being hauled off to jail for not 100% correctly answering a question (note: I don’t mean untruthfully, I mean not correct), but the fear is there. It trips me up in answering things because I don’t want to answer in haste and lie, but then, I think too hard about a question and get confused. Have you ever taken a standardized test or read a government form and had to parse it out for 10 minutes because you think you know what it’s asking, but you don’t want to be penalized if you’re wrong? That’s the autistic experience of dealing with the legal system, and people wrongly assume you’re lying if you spend too long thinking before you answer. I, unfortunately, was called to speak to the judge to see if I qualified for a case. The questions that were asked confused me, and I said as much. “Would you be prejudiced against a defendant just because they’re a defendant?” I sat there for a second not understanding why anyone would feel that way, asked the judge to explain it because it made zero sense to me, only to realize that was exactly what they were asking. My favorite was the judge asking if I had any conditions or anything that might make it impossible to fulfill my duty as a juror. I have never been a part of jury duty, so I honestly have no frame of reference as to whether or not I would be a functional human being in this situation or if I would just power down and dissociate. It’s hard to answer when I honestly don’t know. If you say that though, people look at you like you’re crazy, so I kept that to myself but said something else that got me disqualified from the case.

Bonus: misgendering!

Always fun when you have to use your full legal name for something when it’s a name you never use. I tried putting (Kara) next to it and still got full named. In a pre-service survey they ask if you’re male, female, or nonbinary. I put nonbinary. I’m 90% sure I did. On Zoom, I filled in my pronouns as they/them. I wore something gender neutral, I moved my computer to only show me from the shoulders up, I had my hair pulled back. I did everything I could and get miss-ed and ma’am-ed by the judge repeatedly. Once he said, “men and women” and “he or she” repeatedly during his warm-up speech, I figured it was a lost cause, but it still was like the moldy icing on the already stressful cake. Before someone says, “Why didn’t you say something?”, we all know rule one of jury duty and the legal system in general is don’t bring attention to yourself.

Kara, what was the point of this?

This was not meant to be a rambling complaint-fest. I wanted to point out that something most people find to be a minor inconvenience is actually stressful for some of us. Obviously, there’s always the financial stress of missing work when you get called for jury duty, but in this case, it’s more so the mental stress and anxiety this whole process causes in people who need clearly delineated information, consistency, and predictability. A week of constant anxiety feels like overkill for such a mundane process, but that’s what it was. The worst part is, I don’t even know what accommodations someone could ask for if the process is supposed to be random. Randomness inherently runs counter to what I need, but I wish the expectations and schedule could at least be more clear cut and not taken for granted by those who deal with jurors every day. For jury duty to be the fair and equitable process it hopes to be (though we all know its not), accommodating neurodivergent jurors would be a great place to start.

Personal Life

On Autistic (Un)masking

November 20, 2022November 18, 2022 Kara Jorgensen1 Comment

Something I have been trying to do these past few months is mask less. Masking in this case is not trying to act neurotypical. Most autistic and neurodivergent people fake it til we make it. We know there is a social protocol that we should follow, whether it makes any logical sense to us or not. If you aren’t sure what I mean, here’s an example: When someone says, “How are you?” they really aren’t asking how you are. Unless they are a very good friend or your partner or someone on that level, they don’t care. It’s an empty small talk question, and the only acceptable answer is good, okay, or to complain about something you both don’t like (like work or a sports team losing). If you say, “Ugh, my IBS was acting up over the weekend and I’m exhausted,” they will look at you like you have lost your mind or stop asking you how you are. Or my absolute favorite, they will ask and keep walking. Tell me you don’t care without telling me you don’t care.

Anyway, masking is somehow equal parts passive and purposeful. There are times when the mask just automatically appears, like someone catches you off-guard or you say your automatic responses to things. For people who may not realize they’re autistic or can’t unmask, it will be far more automatic but still completely exhausting. Most of the time, masking is something we feel keenly, especially if we’ve been doing it for a long time. It’s the mental equivalent of unzipping a tight pair of pants when you get home or tossing off your bra after work. When I’m masking, I’m constantly doing mental calculations. Am I holding eye contact long enough? Am I doing it too long? Do people think I’m being shifty? Am I talking about something inappropriate? Have I said something by accident that will make my friend hate me? Masking makes any prolonged social interaction something I need days to recover from. Being “normal” is exhausting, and even masking, I don’t do a terribly good job.

What I’ve tried doing is essentially “coming out” as autistic to my students. Quite a few of them are neurodivergent, which helps. I don’t lead with it day one, but I make it clear that I accept self-diagnoses and self-made accommodations for people who are neurodivergent. Once I start talking, I’m sure some have an inkling. Eventually this semester, I came out to both classes sort of by accident, and it was a MASSIVE relief. I still watch my words and make sure I don’t accidentally hurt someone’s feelings, but not having to worry about eye contact or modulating my speech patterns makes teaching so much less exhausting. Personally, I think I’m more engaging when I loosen up and allow myself to be weird in class (especially knowing the laughs I receive are not mocking). The hope is that it will also make my students more comfortable, and for some, meeting a neurodivergent professor and/or writer may also be affirming.

The problem is that because I’m masking less, when I feel like I need to mask due to the situation (doctor’s office, grocery store, extended family, etc.), it is exhausting. It is so much worse than it usually is because I’m not accustomed to doing it as much. It’s like not exercising and being told to run a mile. I just want to collapse in a heap of social exhaustion after masking now. I used to be able to sort of hold it off until I totally fried myself, which is not great, and it sucks because I want to mask less. I need to. It’s better for my mental health to not be “on” constantly, especially when being “on,” is being akin to being a different person. But I can’t not mask all the time because it isn’t safe to, and the social repercussions of being unmasked around people who don’t understand are not worth the backlash. I absolutely dread the times I need to socially mask now, and I hate how much I’m not looking forward to holiday gatherings because of it. You would think family would be the people you could be yourself with, but when they think of autism as only non-verbal people who have high needs, they don’t believe you, even if you meet the criteria in spades and they think you’re weird.

I’m already still semi in the closet with being queer and nonbinary around my family, so compounding it with not outing myself as autistic, creates a day full of exhaustion and stifling un-Kara-ness. The stiff smiling, awkward(er) version of me feels so pale in comparison to the vibrant weirdo I know I can be when I’m with my students or my friends/partner. I just wish I felt comfortable letting that version of me out more often.